Then on my way to work, it just dawned on me, grabe after 3 years of parenthood and 2 kids ang dami na ring nagbago sa buhay ko. This inspired me to make a Ngayong Nanay na Ako list:
1. ngayong nanay na ako, malakas na akong magkape. it all started after I went back to work from my 1st maternity leave. Hindi kinakaya ng powers ko to stay awake in the office dahil puyat ako the night before. Sa totoo lang kung hindi ako magkakape makaktulog talaga ako habang nag-cocomputer. Although when I breastfed, I limit my coffee intake to 1 cup per day;
2. i have chronic back pain - from abruptly rising from bed sa gabi to get to Sophie or Sam's crib, the doctor said. Hindi na sila natutulog sa crib ngayon pero may back pain pa rin ako. Siguro sa kabubuhat naman ng mga batang iyon. I've been to reflexolgists and PTs and they helped me for some time but the pain is still there so I decided to just live with it. Anyway, it's not as bad as before;
3. memorize ko almost all Barney songs. Never in my entire single life did I imagine that I will have any encounter with that big purple dinosaur pero ngayon I'm thankful for Barney for teaching Sophie proper brushing of the teeth, hand washing and sharing. Sam's next :) ;
4. kung ang mga friends ko join online promos to get a free spa, free boutique gcs, free vacation, ako i join promos to get free tickets to Meet and Greet Elmo or Dora or Barney (kaya superhappy ako for the Bliss Yoga GC). Ngayon, hindi na rin rock concerts ang pinupunta namin sa Araneta Coliseum kundi Disney on Ice concert na. Imagine the number of children's parties we've been too... ;
5. I shop 'til I drop... for my babies' needs - I most often go shopping for Sophie or Sam's clothes. Kahit na ang original intention ko sa pagpunta sa mall ay bumili ng something for me, I end up going home with nothing for me and something for the kids. So far lahat ng bago ko ay either regalo or padala na lang (which is good for me pa rin);
6. sobra akong emotional at iyakin. Just last Monday night I cried while watching Ambulansyang Paa ng iWitness, nakakaawa kasi yung mga babies na hindi mabigyan ng immediate medical assistance dahil nasa bundok sila. Imagine that, samantalang when I was single ang tawag sa akin sa office 'cold fish' or 'bato' kasi ako ang pinaka-deadmang tao sa opisina;
7. okay na akin ang 5-6 hours sleep. nasanay na lang din siguro kasi mahigit 3 taong na kong kulang sa tulog. my OB shared nga that her MIL last took an 8-hour sleep before she gave birth to her 1st child and she has 12 children! buti na lang naging magaling na doktor ang isa niyang anak niya.
Ngayon nanay na ako ang daming nagbago sa buhay ko, total turn around. Kaya nga ang sabi ko sa mga staff ko na single pa at nagpaplano magpakasal, kung mag-decide sila magpakasal dapat handa sila to give up all the luxuries of single life. dapat ready sila to be selfless and for the sacrifices they have to make for the children and the family. If there is one tinge of doubt, don't,because it's going to be more difficult.
Motherhood is the most humbling yet fulfilling experience. It's a lifetime profession.
Ngayon nanay na ako, I'm happy because I have the inspiration to make all the right decisions in life. May direction na ang buhay at may focus sa goals and dreams. Now that I'm a mom, I wake up each morning with a smile on my face (may back pain o wala, puyat o hindi) because my children give me all the reason to smile and be thankful for the blessings :)