Types of Parenting Styles

During a Parent-teacher orientation in my daughter’s school I was asked to answer a questionnaire as honestly as I could. One question there was on the parenting type I use at home:

1.                 Authoritarian Parenting
In this style of parenting, children are expected to follow the strict rules established by the parents. These parents have high demands, but are not responsive to their children.

2.                 Authoritative Parenting
Like authoritarian parents, those with an authoritative parenting style establish rules and guidelines that their children are expected to follow. However, this parenting style is much more democratic. Authoritative parents are responsive to their children and willing to listen to questions.

3.                 Permissive Parenting
Permissive parents, sometimes referred to as indulgent parents, have very few demands to make of their children. These parents rarely discipline their children because they have relatively low expectations of maturity and self-control. Permissive parents are generally nurturing and communicative with their children, often taking on the status of a friend more than that of a parent.

4.                 Uninvolved Parenting
An uninvolved parenting style is characterized by few demands, low responsiveness and little communication. While these parents fulfill the child's basic needs, they are generally detached from their child's life. In extreme cases, these parents may even reject or neglect the needs of their children.

source: http://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/a/parenting-style.htm

http://www.babycarehelp.com/parenting.htm

 I chose Authoritative because that's how I see myself and the questionnaire said answer honestly.

When it was time for the talk with the teacher, she casually mentioned that I was the first parent who answered authoritative (all others answered permissive). I was worried at first, ‘what does that mean?’ But as I told the teacher, that's how I see myself as a parent. 

My kids are both independent thinkers and very decisive and I embrace that with pride. At some point, though, I think that kids who are like them should know their limits, be provided with enough guidance and level of authority or they will grow up to be disrespectful, bratty and self-centered. Kids should always be given the chance to express themselves, to discover their surroundings but with guidance from parents or elders. 

The teacher said that this is okay but make sure to avoid nagging the kids for them follow their parents. When kids are constantly nagged, they develop this thing called Mommy Deafness. In Tagalog, ‘pasok sa kanang tenga, labas sa kaliwa’ (may term na pala dito) and it has been proven by psychoanalysts to happen to kids who get constantly nagged. Also, to use punishment like corner time wisely and sparingly. 

Honestly, my heart crushes every time my husband brings the kids to time out but at some point I know that this is one way to let kids stop and think why they got into the corner of the house in the first place. Time out provides a moment for them to realize misbehavior like hurting their sibling is not acceptable. But, I will stress, time outs should be used wisely by parents and that after the time out it should be explained to children why this punishment was given to them so they have a clear understanding of the scenario. 

Progressive School : First Hand Experience

This is Sophie's school calendar for the SY 2011 to 2012. Sophie goes to a progressive school and honestly, when I first received this I was a bit overwhelmed by how busy their calendar looks but after a while I realized it's still manageable. Just needs a lot of constant follow through and make sure everything is prepared for prior to the activity especially since both my husband and I are working (I placed this calendar on our ref door so I can see it all the time). 

Like a couple of months ago we had a PTC (parent-teacher orientation) which basically was a get together of the students' parents and their teachers so we won't be a stranger to each other in the succeeding school activities and meets. Then a week after that came the PTC (Parent-teacher conference) where parent and teacher discussed the kid's strength and weakness observed during the 1st few months of school as well as expectations by the end of the school year. It was rather an enlightening experience for me because prior to our talk, I was asked to answer a questionnaire which will provide them a background of the family at home. From there, teacher will better understand the behavior and personality of the kid in school. Although Sophie's teacher said that a kid may portray dual personalities; she may act differently in school than at home so it will always be on a case to case basis. 

Here are other points that I like about progressive schools:

1. student centered - the ratio of progressive class is usually 10 (or less) students per 1 teacher (plus a teacher aid). This gives the teacher (and teacher aid) a chance to focus on each student and guide them better. Sophie spent her Reading Readiness summer class in the same school so her teacher now was able to see her progress from the 1st time she came to the school until now. We are both very happy with how she progressed in reading, writing and the arts. I could say that my kid's school was able to bring out the best in her :)

2. One on One Assessments Instead of Standard Exams - kindergartens now are only as young as 3 or 4 years unlike in my time when kids need to be at least 6 yrs. old to get into that level. Although I recognize the fact that kids now are more advanced thinking, it all boils down to them being just toddlers and does not deserve the high level of stress that quarterly and numerous pages of exams given to kids in a traditional setting. I know one parent who's kid just walked out of an exam out of exasperation. Some teachers shared that other kids hid under their chairs :( For progressive schools, they conduct a one on one assessment with teacher and student. The school said the students need not study for kids will have to answer based on what knowledge is stored in their brains. No memorization. Come to think of it, which memorized subjects in school were you able to remember until now? 

3. Social Engaged Intelligence - experience is the best teacher and progressive schools uphold this wisdom in their curriculum. Instead of classroom discussion on the works of a fireman, a dentist or a carpenter, kids are exposed to the 'people in our neighborhood' (remember the Sesame St. song?) to know more about these professions. For this weekend, to celebrate Linggo ng Wika, students and their families will join the Palarong Pinoy activity and I'm all geared up to teach Sophie all forgotten street games like piko, tumbang preso and patentero :)

Although the big question for students coming from a progressive teaching environment is if they will be able to cope when it's time to move to a traditional big school? My view on this is, I believe that as long as kids were properly taught the fundamentals while in kinder and prep, they will be as ready as any student when they get to Trad schools. It is also the parents' role to make sure that kids learn what they should be learning from progressive schools or if they might be behind. The internet has a lot of insights and studies to help parents. 

Movie Date with the Kids

 The Smurfs is officially Sophie and Sam's first movie on the big screen! Both kids had a blast! I think it was also because of the popcorn, the choco sticks and drinks they devoured :) Sophie kept telling me, 'You're right mom, this is not scary. The chair is not moving.' I think she had a bit of trauma from EK's Realto and 4D theaters where the seats move and there's splash of water every now and then (yikes).
The little boy naman is really reacting to the scenes. He would say, 'Oh no', 'wow!' or would laugh to really funny antics. He also counted the heads of the people below us, hehe. Although when the lights went off (as the movie was about to start) he called out to me, he enjoyed the rest of the movie naman as I held his hand or his back to ensure him that I'm still there beside him. Of course Mom and Dad enjoyed the movie as well, we love Neil Patrick Harris in How I Met Your Mother. But we kept looking in the direction of the kids, their   faces were enough to entertain us. Really priceless :)
We also treated the yayas to the movies. Did you know that it was the first time for one of my yaya to enter a movie house? I think this movie is memorable for her too.

Pictures after the movie, during credits. See how affected the little boy is? The little girl enjoys her Cheez Curls, it's a rare moment for her to eat junk food :)

 And... the family that go to the movie together, take a picture together sa loob ng sinehan.

On our way out. The girl in pink probably thinks, 'weird mo...'

After the movie, we went a little shopping for the kids and did the grocery. We were famished from all the activity so we decided to have dinner in the mall. I saw this restaurant that's not common in other malls so we tried it. The slogan  Home of Pugon Roasted Asado beckoned.

We ordered the drunken lechon macau, P257.00. This is really good, the title reminds me of old Jackie Chan movies that my dad and I love to watch. The drunkenness (from the wine) of the pork gives it a different taste than other lechon macau. It comes with a sweet and spicy sauce. 

This is what we came for, the Pugon (oven brick) Roasted Asado P267. I love asado and Lido's version is really addicting. You just can't stop. 

Don't forget your veggies! Broccoli with garlic sauce, perfect with steamed rice. 

The little girl gave Lido a thumbs up!

 SM Fairview

Upper Ground Floor, Annex 1,

SM Fairview, Quezon City

Telephone: 3555436

They also have branches in E. Rodriguez and West Avenue. 

Busy Bee

Oh wow! I’ve been busy much that I wasn't able to write something here yesterday. Just to share with you, here's how my Monday went :

530am - got up to assist Sam to his potty trainer (he's a full-pledged big boy now, no more wee wee on the bed :)). Tried to get some more zzzs until 7am.

7am - got up, had breakfast with the kids

730am - cooked and prepared Sophie's school lunch meal. Today she's having pork cutlets, hard boiled egg and banana. I then checked her Reminder folder for any update.

8am – while the kids get bathed, I organized our mails and other documents. I regularly follow Suze Orman on Twitter and she gave tips on the stock life of different types of documents/bills, etc. So yesterday, I sorted out our old and current bills. Decluttering my life little by little.

9am – checked our weekly expenses and alloted payments for the bills, helpers wage,etc.

930am – prepared for work

10am – got a text that a project’s shoot was moved earlier to 11am (geesh, always last minute changes). Called my staff to make sure everything is covered for the morning shoot.

1130am – got to work, checked on my emails while finalizing my staffs’ appraisal forms, plus plus other things to do on the side. I'm super multi-tasking by this point. 

12nn – I went to the shoot location. this is for one anchor only so it’s quick plus our talent is a pro, so love it!

130pm – lunch break (haaay, salamat...)

230pm – to shoot location again, for another pair of anchors

4pm – had a meeting with one section and a supplier for a software demo (Thank God for the energy He gives me everyday)

5pm – work, work, work until 930pm!

930pm – homeward bound I go J

Reached home past 10 in the evening, checked again Sophie's reminder folder. It's Linggo ng Wika and the school is organizing a Palarong Pinoy with the students' family on the 27th. Sounds exciting :)

So that’s basically my day in and day out on weekdays. If there are no shoots, it’s a little bit more relaxed.

You see, I can always tell my yayas to prepare Sophie's baon but I think it's still different when the little girl knows that Mommy prepared her lunch (with matching Disney notes) so if I can do it I always will. 

While in the shower today, my single life flashed back particularly at that point when I think I'm just going in circles. Nothing's really happening in a major major way. 

Now that I'm married and a working mom, I can barely find time to have a moment to myself (except in the shower). But would I have it any different? I don't think so :) 

How was your Monday? :)