A Late Birthday Post: Turning 38

I've been contemplating (too long it’s April na) on what to write as a birthday post. As I shared, I turned 38 last March. Honestly, I have so many drafts for a birthday post and, ironically, they ended up unfinished. Somehow, I just can’t find the right amount of inspiration to end it and publish. Plus, life offline is so so busy. 

So here’s another attempt. This time I’m writing 8 things I learned since I became 30, that monumental part of my life where everything just took a 5^th gear to where I am now.

I was 30 when I got married and got pregnant to my first born five months later. It was also at that time that, consequently, I moved out of my parents’ house and started my own family. I was around that age too when I got promoted to managerial position. Overwhelming 3-0 really. 

After years of what seem to be a roller coaster ride (I have a love-hate relationship with roller coasters), I’m here now sharing the things I learned. Off course, if given the time, I’d write more but for now, let’s keep it to 8 important truths in life as I see it (in no particular order):

• Motherhood is no walk in the park. Some of the most hair-pulling, grueling experiences I came across as a mom were never shared in books, on the internet; not even my mom was able to share half of the hardships of parenting. Each parent needs to experience the journey, learn from it and grow with it. There will be a time when trial and error is the only option you have but the end in mind is always what's best for the family. That is our battle cry in this chaos of parenting. It's a fun ride, nevertheless. I love kids so I enjoy the journey. 

• Marriage is no walk in the park either. From experience and as what I have observed with other married couple, I believe in 3 things to keep the marriage together 1) you have to love and marry the person for who he really is, not who you want him to be, 2) make sure you see yourself growing old with this person. It's important that you develop a strong friendship bond as this will get you through past the romantic and horny stage, past the financial and household crisis. In the movie American Quilt, the question,  'Should you marry your best friend or your lover,?' was something that stuck to mind. I go for the best friend! 3) Most importantly, always put God in the center of your relationship and home and He will guide your hearts to make your marriage fruitful. 

• Never underestimate kids’ perspective, intuition and intelligence. Everyday my kids amaze me with their question ranging from 'I-can-answer-that-without-batting-an-eyelash' easy to 'OMG-what-to-say' difficult and trick questions like ‘Mommy, why God is a statue? Is he dead? So many eyelash batting before we can think of a clever, kid-friendly and truthful answer. Then they go 'why Mommies know everything?' Endless conversation really, never a dull moment :) My mindset at raising the kids is that I am just a steward of God assigned to take care of Sophie and Sam. And being that, it is my responsibility to raise them well as good and God-fearing individuals but they are never mine, they are God's children. 

• A mantra that I have embraced since I was young: ‘God grant me the courage to change the things I can, the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the wisdom to know the difference.’- Reinhold Niebuhr. This always helps me to get a grip on life especially when it just gets too frustrating. 

• ‘Don’t worry, at the end of the day, it will all fall into place’ - something I learned from a mentor. You know what, it always does. So when I'm bound to hit a wall, I just hum these words and sing a prayer song (they say singing a prayer is like praying 3 times over). 

• Invest is now one of my favorite words. Over the years, I learned that if you invest something - in friendship, love, in career, financial, etc. - there is always a return. Just as you cannot reap a fruit if you don't plant a single seed and nurture it, you cannot expect success if you don't sweat it out. My younger self was the impatient, hungry kind who like it snappy, always moving, no idle time, fast paced, go go go! But as I got older, I learned to wait and be patient - for kids to learn to walk and talk, learned to work hard and climb the ladder to a better and stable career, to invest time on a good friendship. There is always a time for everything and we need to start at something,work on it and be patient with God's sweet time because hard work bears beautiful fruits. On the flip side, I also learned that there are people and things that you just have to let go to declutter life. Those that just brings you down and cause you constant stress, as Elsa said 'Let it go'!

• This is so me right now. It just comes with age, I guess.LOL. I somehow outgrew my inhibitions, speak words of wisdom which surprises even thyself. I find myself sounding like my mom, if that is a good thing... 

                     

Maybe it is. A former staff who is now abroad sent an online card on my birthday with this message.  

I was overwhelmed by the birthday messages on FB and texts from colleagues, subordinates and friends. They were totally unexpected and heartwarming :)

         At this point too, I don't care much about the norm and decide based on what I think is best for            me and my family whether it be the brand of shampoo or the school for the kids. I'm also trying (yes trying) to live life simply, focusing only on what's essential and those that add value to life. I guess               this is why for the past birthdays, I can't think of any material gift I want for myself. What I cherish now are those immaterial things. 

• Life is short. Carpe Diem! Live life to the fullest. Don't say 'yes' when you really mean 'no' and vice versa. Don't stress over little things, don't sweat the small stuff. This last part practically sums up all other things I live by for years and years now. Of course, with #7 in mind. 

Have a peaceful and safe long vacation everyone! :)

Happy V Day!

Happy Monday everyone!

Last Friday, practically the whole nation celebrated Valentine’s day with much gusto. If you tuned in to Facebook that day, the V vibe is so alive! Save from some 'bitter' and 'sour grape' posts, the rest of the world loves 02-14. Honestly, embraced it. It's a breather from the daily dose of not so good and even tragic news we see everyday.

Here's a proof of embracing the Love Day: the morning of Feb. 14, I posted a link from the news:

Taong may sense of humor o yung may good looks, alin ang mas gusto mo?

I posted it because of husby's reaction to the news which makes me laugh until now.

While having dinner, we heard this news and as we sometimes make patol sa news, husby said in a most serious face he could muster, 'Sorry ha, pogi lang ako. Wala akong sense of humor.' (Sorry, I'm just goodlooking. No sense of humor). I was quick to reply, 'I beg to disagree. Super funny ka nga eh.' And we continue to argue until over the weekend because he insists he only has good looks. The nerves! Haha! And I just love him for that. And we went a little PDA on FB on that topic. Please bear with us FB friends, it's a day of lovin'.

I had a little more dose of the love day. My little handsome gave me this huge gumamela before I headed off to work. He's just the sweetest and he doesn't care if the owner of the flower plant will get mad at him or not. If he sees a pretty flower, he'll pick it for Mommy :) I'm glad the owner of the plant is not my FB friend because husby was quick to post it on FB.

See? I'm even wearing red last Friday (shirt dress from Next UK). 

At work, some guys gave out long-stemmed roses (with pick up line pa!haha) to the girls and we also got red heart balloons, chocolates,etc.from our sweet boys.

By end of day, my cheesy husby was not yet done being all too loving. When we arrived at home from a simple dinner, he gave me a bouquet of fresh flowers. 'And you thought I don't have flowers for you ha', he said with his sheepish smile. The little princess got her pink rose as well. Haay, what to do with the ultra romantic-bordering-cheesy husband? Thank you dear for being you :) I think you rubbed off your romantic side to our little handsome :)

An Ode To My Husband

Eight years and a day ago today, I got hitched. Yesterday, I woke up with the same feeling as that defining December 10, 2005, knowing very well that I made the best decision ever - marry the man I forever love. Ah wait. I hear a poem coming. Totally inspired for one right now.

So without further ado, husband, here’s a poem from me to you:

Eight Years After (Short and Sweet and S***)

To my lovely husband

My most treasured friend

(and that is an understatement)

Thank you for your love

If not, so Sophie no Sam

Thank you for the dozens of flowers

For being my driver for hours and hours

Without even trying you make me laugh

Life is beautiful, no matter how tough

 

To my dearest husband bestfriend

I love you to the moon and back

I’m forever grateful for our special bond

Now it’s time for some hanky pank (*wink *wink)

Happy Anniversary dear husband. We have a lot of dreams for the our family, our kids and the future and it's inspiring to work on those goals with a great partner. As the quote on our wedding souvenir goes 'God is a great matchmaker' - Jewish Proverb.

May we have forever more :)

Marriage: Car Talks and Kaltok Moments

My breakfast last week but I'm not here to give you a rundown of reviews and comments about the too sweet coffee or the sinfully good croughnut (or did I just give you my review?).

But this post is meant to share something else - marriage and, as they say, beyond.

I'm in similar settings on some days the past weeks, killing time with breakfast and coffee. One time, I decided to try a new location being 2 hours early for work, the newly opened coffee shop across the office. The scenes and smell of our cafeteria in the mornings just got a bit tiring.

I'm usually early for work but for several days I'm SUPER early because of Stephen's erratic work schedule.

As much as I'd rather catch more zzzzs in the morning and tell husby to go ahead without me, I know that goin to work together in our car will definitely save me cab money. Plus he is paranoid about taxi scams nowadays and insists we just take the car together.

More than saving money, car rides with husby to and fro work has become our exclusive couple time. The 'car talks' are as random, funny, honest and unadulterated as it can get *wink* wink*. No qualms because we know it's only us who can hear the conversation so we swear, we debate, we rant, we do dirty talk *wink again*  and we make random chismis. Haha!

Sometimes Stephen gets confused where one story ends and the other starts, I appreciate that he is really a good listener and keeps up with me during those 'confusing' times. It's a rare trait for a guy, do you agree? If you have been reading my blog for years now, I believe you have this rare trait as well so thank you for visiting back :)

I honestly love our 'car talks' and I hope we can enjoy that for years to come. Of course, we always entertain car poolers when needed. We will behave when you're riding with us don't worry :)

We have a rule between us too of no sleeping in the car because you have to entertain whoever is driving (and it's usually Stephen). Even if it's a 30-minute or a 6-hour drive, the rule is absolute.

Oh and here's another unspoken rule: I have to pretend to be genuinely interested in basketball-related yadada and say 'Stephen supplied' comments like 'Oh really?' or 'talaga?' with much gusto.

At this point, with almost 8 years of marriage, I can tell you that communication and humor are two important factors to keep a relationship together. There is never an excuse not to make constant talks and discuss matters, even how serious or trivial, with your husband.

And humor. Well, I think it's one thing that we can laugh together with our partner, at each other and at ourselves everyday. As one Tacloban victim said when asked by a CNN reporter why they are happy, 'Laughter is the best medicine.'

If you want to have a doze of our funny moments that we fondly call our Kaltok moments, visit my Stephen's blog here. It's not updated anymore but that's basically how our everyday life is, nag-iiba iba lang ang kaltoker and kaltokee. hehe.

Here's a more recent kaltok moment:

We attended a children's birthday party yesterday and after the party, friends decided to continue to get together in another venue. With the kids in tow, of course. One friend, his wife and son rode with us in the car on the way to Starbucks.

Friend: (to Stephen) Yung kaibigan natin, wala pa baby. Sabi nga niya pagbalik niya from abroad, wala na daw labasan ng kwarto (alam niyo na yan).

Friend's son: Huh?! Bakit hindi lalabas ng kwarto Tatay? Paano yun, paano siya kakain, baka mamatay siya dun?

The adults in the car laughed silently, the kid was seriously worried.

Me: Sige, daddy, magpaliwanag ka ngayon. Explain in writing!

Everyone (err just the adults) laughed while our friend tried to string words to explain 'walang labasan sa kwarto' to his son. Guess who got one big kaltok.