Types of Parenting Styles

During a Parent-teacher orientation in my daughter’s school I was asked to answer a questionnaire as honestly as I could. One question there was on the parenting type I use at home:

1.                 Authoritarian Parenting
In this style of parenting, children are expected to follow the strict rules established by the parents. These parents have high demands, but are not responsive to their children.

2.                 Authoritative Parenting
Like authoritarian parents, those with an authoritative parenting style establish rules and guidelines that their children are expected to follow. However, this parenting style is much more democratic. Authoritative parents are responsive to their children and willing to listen to questions.

3.                 Permissive Parenting
Permissive parents, sometimes referred to as indulgent parents, have very few demands to make of their children. These parents rarely discipline their children because they have relatively low expectations of maturity and self-control. Permissive parents are generally nurturing and communicative with their children, often taking on the status of a friend more than that of a parent.

4.                 Uninvolved Parenting
An uninvolved parenting style is characterized by few demands, low responsiveness and little communication. While these parents fulfill the child's basic needs, they are generally detached from their child's life. In extreme cases, these parents may even reject or neglect the needs of their children.

source: http://psychology.about.com/od/developmentalpsychology/a/parenting-style.htm

http://www.babycarehelp.com/parenting.htm

 I chose Authoritative because that's how I see myself and the questionnaire said answer honestly.

When it was time for the talk with the teacher, she casually mentioned that I was the first parent who answered authoritative (all others answered permissive). I was worried at first, ‘what does that mean?’ But as I told the teacher, that's how I see myself as a parent. 

My kids are both independent thinkers and very decisive and I embrace that with pride. At some point, though, I think that kids who are like them should know their limits, be provided with enough guidance and level of authority or they will grow up to be disrespectful, bratty and self-centered. Kids should always be given the chance to express themselves, to discover their surroundings but with guidance from parents or elders. 

The teacher said that this is okay but make sure to avoid nagging the kids for them follow their parents. When kids are constantly nagged, they develop this thing called Mommy Deafness. In Tagalog, ‘pasok sa kanang tenga, labas sa kaliwa’ (may term na pala dito) and it has been proven by psychoanalysts to happen to kids who get constantly nagged. Also, to use punishment like corner time wisely and sparingly. 

Honestly, my heart crushes every time my husband brings the kids to time out but at some point I know that this is one way to let kids stop and think why they got into the corner of the house in the first place. Time out provides a moment for them to realize misbehavior like hurting their sibling is not acceptable. But, I will stress, time outs should be used wisely by parents and that after the time out it should be explained to children why this punishment was given to them so they have a clear understanding of the scenario. 

Progressive School : First Hand Experience

This is Sophie's school calendar for the SY 2011 to 2012. Sophie goes to a progressive school and honestly, when I first received this I was a bit overwhelmed by how busy their calendar looks but after a while I realized it's still manageable. Just needs a lot of constant follow through and make sure everything is prepared for prior to the activity especially since both my husband and I are working (I placed this calendar on our ref door so I can see it all the time). 

Like a couple of months ago we had a PTC (parent-teacher orientation) which basically was a get together of the students' parents and their teachers so we won't be a stranger to each other in the succeeding school activities and meets. Then a week after that came the PTC (Parent-teacher conference) where parent and teacher discussed the kid's strength and weakness observed during the 1st few months of school as well as expectations by the end of the school year. It was rather an enlightening experience for me because prior to our talk, I was asked to answer a questionnaire which will provide them a background of the family at home. From there, teacher will better understand the behavior and personality of the kid in school. Although Sophie's teacher said that a kid may portray dual personalities; she may act differently in school than at home so it will always be on a case to case basis. 

Here are other points that I like about progressive schools:

1. student centered - the ratio of progressive class is usually 10 (or less) students per 1 teacher (plus a teacher aid). This gives the teacher (and teacher aid) a chance to focus on each student and guide them better. Sophie spent her Reading Readiness summer class in the same school so her teacher now was able to see her progress from the 1st time she came to the school until now. We are both very happy with how she progressed in reading, writing and the arts. I could say that my kid's school was able to bring out the best in her :)

2. One on One Assessments Instead of Standard Exams - kindergartens now are only as young as 3 or 4 years unlike in my time when kids need to be at least 6 yrs. old to get into that level. Although I recognize the fact that kids now are more advanced thinking, it all boils down to them being just toddlers and does not deserve the high level of stress that quarterly and numerous pages of exams given to kids in a traditional setting. I know one parent who's kid just walked out of an exam out of exasperation. Some teachers shared that other kids hid under their chairs :( For progressive schools, they conduct a one on one assessment with teacher and student. The school said the students need not study for kids will have to answer based on what knowledge is stored in their brains. No memorization. Come to think of it, which memorized subjects in school were you able to remember until now? 

3. Social Engaged Intelligence - experience is the best teacher and progressive schools uphold this wisdom in their curriculum. Instead of classroom discussion on the works of a fireman, a dentist or a carpenter, kids are exposed to the 'people in our neighborhood' (remember the Sesame St. song?) to know more about these professions. For this weekend, to celebrate Linggo ng Wika, students and their families will join the Palarong Pinoy activity and I'm all geared up to teach Sophie all forgotten street games like piko, tumbang preso and patentero :)

Although the big question for students coming from a progressive teaching environment is if they will be able to cope when it's time to move to a traditional big school? My view on this is, I believe that as long as kids were properly taught the fundamentals while in kinder and prep, they will be as ready as any student when they get to Trad schools. It is also the parents' role to make sure that kids learn what they should be learning from progressive schools or if they might be behind. The internet has a lot of insights and studies to help parents. 

Movie Date with the Kids

 The Smurfs is officially Sophie and Sam's first movie on the big screen! Both kids had a blast! I think it was also because of the popcorn, the choco sticks and drinks they devoured :) Sophie kept telling me, 'You're right mom, this is not scary. The chair is not moving.' I think she had a bit of trauma from EK's Realto and 4D theaters where the seats move and there's splash of water every now and then (yikes).
The little boy naman is really reacting to the scenes. He would say, 'Oh no', 'wow!' or would laugh to really funny antics. He also counted the heads of the people below us, hehe. Although when the lights went off (as the movie was about to start) he called out to me, he enjoyed the rest of the movie naman as I held his hand or his back to ensure him that I'm still there beside him. Of course Mom and Dad enjoyed the movie as well, we love Neil Patrick Harris in How I Met Your Mother. But we kept looking in the direction of the kids, their   faces were enough to entertain us. Really priceless :)
We also treated the yayas to the movies. Did you know that it was the first time for one of my yaya to enter a movie house? I think this movie is memorable for her too.

Pictures after the movie, during credits. See how affected the little boy is? The little girl enjoys her Cheez Curls, it's a rare moment for her to eat junk food :)

 And... the family that go to the movie together, take a picture together sa loob ng sinehan.

On our way out. The girl in pink probably thinks, 'weird mo...'

After the movie, we went a little shopping for the kids and did the grocery. We were famished from all the activity so we decided to have dinner in the mall. I saw this restaurant that's not common in other malls so we tried it. The slogan  Home of Pugon Roasted Asado beckoned.

We ordered the drunken lechon macau, P257.00. This is really good, the title reminds me of old Jackie Chan movies that my dad and I love to watch. The drunkenness (from the wine) of the pork gives it a different taste than other lechon macau. It comes with a sweet and spicy sauce. 

This is what we came for, the Pugon (oven brick) Roasted Asado P267. I love asado and Lido's version is really addicting. You just can't stop. 

Don't forget your veggies! Broccoli with garlic sauce, perfect with steamed rice. 

The little girl gave Lido a thumbs up!

 SM Fairview

Upper Ground Floor, Annex 1,

SM Fairview, Quezon City

Telephone: 3555436

They also have branches in E. Rodriguez and West Avenue. 

Busy Bee

Oh wow! I’ve been busy much that I wasn't able to write something here yesterday. Just to share with you, here's how my Monday went :

530am - got up to assist Sam to his potty trainer (he's a full-pledged big boy now, no more wee wee on the bed :)). Tried to get some more zzzs until 7am.

7am - got up, had breakfast with the kids

730am - cooked and prepared Sophie's school lunch meal. Today she's having pork cutlets, hard boiled egg and banana. I then checked her Reminder folder for any update.

8am – while the kids get bathed, I organized our mails and other documents. I regularly follow Suze Orman on Twitter and she gave tips on the stock life of different types of documents/bills, etc. So yesterday, I sorted out our old and current bills. Decluttering my life little by little.

9am – checked our weekly expenses and alloted payments for the bills, helpers wage,etc.

930am – prepared for work

10am – got a text that a project’s shoot was moved earlier to 11am (geesh, always last minute changes). Called my staff to make sure everything is covered for the morning shoot.

1130am – got to work, checked on my emails while finalizing my staffs’ appraisal forms, plus plus other things to do on the side. I'm super multi-tasking by this point. 

12nn – I went to the shoot location. this is for one anchor only so it’s quick plus our talent is a pro, so love it!

130pm – lunch break (haaay, salamat...)

230pm – to shoot location again, for another pair of anchors

4pm – had a meeting with one section and a supplier for a software demo (Thank God for the energy He gives me everyday)

5pm – work, work, work until 930pm!

930pm – homeward bound I go J

Reached home past 10 in the evening, checked again Sophie's reminder folder. It's Linggo ng Wika and the school is organizing a Palarong Pinoy with the students' family on the 27th. Sounds exciting :)

So that’s basically my day in and day out on weekdays. If there are no shoots, it’s a little bit more relaxed.

You see, I can always tell my yayas to prepare Sophie's baon but I think it's still different when the little girl knows that Mommy prepared her lunch (with matching Disney notes) so if I can do it I always will. 

While in the shower today, my single life flashed back particularly at that point when I think I'm just going in circles. Nothing's really happening in a major major way. 

Now that I'm married and a working mom, I can barely find time to have a moment to myself (except in the shower). But would I have it any different? I don't think so :) 

How was your Monday? :) 

Sagip Dugtong Buhay Project

' A gift of blood is a gift of life', as it is written at the back of my Red Cross Membership card. 

I was able to experience being a blood donor for the first time this year and it makes me really proud to be one. I carry that blue card with me all the time. I know that in my little way, I have helped those in need. 

So why be a blood donor? First off, according to the Mayo Clinic: "Each whole blood donation can help as many as three people. One unit is divided into three parts: red blood cells, platelets, and plasma." Cool right?

Plus, everytime you donate blood, the bone marrow immediately replenish the lost red blood cells so you have fresh new RBCs :) Another benefit is that blood will be there when you need it most. http://benefitof.net/benefits-of-blood-donation/

The screening for blood donors is quite rigorous. The Red Cross doctors and staff will really make sure you are healthy and fit before blood extraction. Here are the steps to donate blood:

1. Register

2. Answer questionnaire

3. Check health status

4. Extract blood

5. Rest and eat some snacks

To be eligible to donate blood (as far as I can remember):

- you have to be just the right weight, at least 110lbs.; underweight is not qualified. 

- your blood pressure must be normal. A slight rise or dip may disqualify you. 

- a blood sample will be extracted to identify your blood type and will run several tests to make sure you are not anemic or sleep deprived. 

- people with colds, allergies are not qualified. 

- have not had a tattoo or body piercing within the past year. 

- pregnant and breastfeeding women cannot donate blood (that's why I was disqualified in the previous years). 

- have not had any dental work within the past 3 days.

yours truly during the bloodletting in February 2011

I felt like a hero after this :)

For those who wish to help through blood donation, GMA Kapuso Foundation and Philippine Red Cross will be holding a bloodletting activity on August 12 in Ever Gotesco, Commonwealth, QC. Let's give the gift of life :)

Watery Wednesday : La Mesa Eco Park Pond

My entry for Watery Wednesday hosted by 2sweetnsaxy :0 

Shoe Hoarding At Megatrade Hall

It was raining shoes and bags last weekend in Megatrade Hall, Megamall and we were there to take advantage of the great sale! All (including the helpers) went home with more than a pair each. Such a happy feeling to be in shoe and bag heaven for hours! We actually missed lunch :)

I finally bought wide New Balance all condition shoes. The one I've been eyeing for months. Original price is P2,800, got it for 50% off. Bought also a pair of flats from So Fab! since I have very few flat shoes. I didn't hoard much shoes because I remembered I just bought 2 pairs of Melissa shoes (I never thought I have that much will power not to buy, though, hehe).

Sophie got 3 pairs. Yeah, she went home with the most pairs. So kikay, right? Not in photo is her new sneakers ala Converse.

The little boy proudly shows off his new shoes. The brown shoes is only P150 while the Hot Wheels rubber shoes is P399 :) 

Stephen got his coveted Puma shoes and GBX driving shoes, each was 50% off. He got lucky this time because he usually can't find his size. 

Plus, we got free movie tickets since we availed of the installment plan using our credit card. We got two tickets. Yay! :) 

My Thoughts: US Economy Now

While I was making dinner last night, I attempted to join husband as he watched Jones Cup game with Philippines playing against Chinese Taipei. I hate watching depressing games* so I decided to check the Sunday paper instead. Yeah, that busy, got to open the paper in the evening.

I have been a fan of Randy David since I was in high school. I always watch Public Forum and listen to his views and commentaries on important national/political issues.

In the Inquirer, he authors a column Public Lives and here is the link of his article yesterday.

http://opinion.inquirer.net/9519/the-humbling-of-America

In a nutshell, Mr. David shares his brother’s story on how the latter now cope with the depressing economy in the US.

During a talk with a financial advisor last month, I got a peek of the real score on the US economy and how much the country is in deep rut. There are matters that are not made known to people through the local news, Internet or papers. Yeah, what we see on the news, that’s not even half of it. At some point I think its best that some very sensitive matters are not made available for public consumption because it may cause an unnecessary panic especially from those who don’t understand the fundamentals.

What is important right now is, as some experts would advice, to put your money in the safest place possible. Investing now in the stock market is financial suicide. Mr. David sited one major catastrophe in the US stock recently and last night CNN talks about stock market plunge (http://money.cnn.com/2011/08/08/markets/premarkets/index.htm). 

Although, of course, US government says ‘don’t panic.’

For now, we can only hope and pray that US will be able to slowly rise up from this sorry state. Being one of the global leaders, many countries are dependent on how this great nation stays fueled economically.

Let’s also pray for our country to stay afloat during the worst part of the recession. During the SONA, many criticize Pres. Aquino’s performance during his first year. What these people sometimes don’t understand is what the Philippine government is doing right now so that we don’t get so much blow from the problems that US and Europe are dealing with.

*Don’t get me wrong, we won the game but on how it was played, well, you should hear the local annotators last night. Tsk tsk.

Sam on Parentin.TV Top 10 Terrific 2 Photo Contest

My son Sam got in the Top 10 Terrific 2 Photo contest in Parentin.TV. Yay! :)

Guys, please help the little man win this contest by giving him your vote. Click on the link to vote.
Thanks much :) You get a kiss from Sam in return :)

http://www.parentin.tv/events/anniv-2011-toddler-photo-contest6

Here's our photo which made it to top 10:

A kiss a day keeps the blues away :0 My son loves to shower me with kisses and those smacks just washes away the stress.

Mommy Moments - Super Heroes

This week's topic in MM is super heroes. 

My kids only watch Disney channel and aside from Thomas and Friends and Angelina Ballerina, they don't really know any super hero character. 

Well, there's another kid in the house who we fondly call Daddy and if you ask him, he's got a lot of super heroes to name. He got a collection at home and the other night he went home carrying a plastic bag (and a big smile on his face, just like a kid) and these two came out of his bag:

Their villains alright but he loves them anyways.

Magneto and X-23 of the X Men 

The fierce Magneto with the Hello Kitty bling! (it wasn't me who did that by the way) Haha :)

GT : Fave Word

Girl Talk is on again. Yay! The topic for this week is Fave Word :)

My fave word would have to be tyenes*. It's actually a gay lingo that is so common and practically fills in any word that I can't remember (I have a severe case of forgetfulness) or say (para lang wag taklesa). Also, if there is a word that I think is not appropriate to say out loud, chuva or tyenes lang gets na ng kausap mo kung ano 'yun. lol! 

I have one more word that, not really a fave, but according to my friends and officemates I overuse. It's actually. When they say something that I agree to, I say 'actually' daw. I also most often start my sentence with 'actually'. Actually (there I go again), I'm trying to be conscious in using it now especially in my emails and my blog entries. Trying to use it sparingly :)

*tienes - Spanish word which means has

Watery Wednesday : Mornings with the Sun

We just experienced 3 typhoons here in the past two weeks and 1 is still here. Haay, I wish to be back in this place. A morning in a hammock with the sun brightly shining.

Recipe Share : Easy Lumpiang Bangus

Easy Lumpiang Bangus (Easy Milkfish Springrolls)

Ingredients:

2 whole boneless milkfish fillet, marinated
2 tbsps. parsley, chopped
2 tbsps. onions, chopped
1 tbsp. garlic, chopped
1 medium egg
1/4 c. carrots, chopped
salt and pepper to taste
lumpia wrapper (always aim for the freshly made lumpia wrappers in wet market)
oil for frying

What you need to do:

1. simmer the fish in a pan with enough water. as for me, I quickly wash the fish with water before simmer to reduce the vinegar taste of the marinated fish. cook only the meat side of the fillet, not the skin. this will help you separate the meat from the flesh easily. Flake the fish.
2. Combine all ingredients (except lumpia wrapper and oil) in a bowl and mix well. Make sure to season sparingly since the fish is already marinated.
3. wrap in lumpia wrapper and fry. i suggest slow cooking (under low fire) so you do not burn the wrappers and to make sure the inside will cook well.

Serve with your fave sweet chili sauce. Easy, right? :0

Home Improvement - Wall Collage

Finally! I found the time to do this project. It's been delayed for a verrry long time. 

When we moved to this place a couple of years ago, I bought the mirror in the middle and promised to fill the wall so it doesn't look alone and awkward there. Last week (after two years :( ) , I finally had the time to buy the materials to hang the decors. The decors are not all new, by the way. Some I bought during our trips. 

A wall decor I bought during a SM sale. I bought this because I needed to be reminded that life is short and  we should live it like it's the last.  

"Dance as though no one is looking, love as though you have never been hurt before, Sing as though no one can hear you, Live as though heaven is on earth"

A Sto. Niño I brought home from a Cebu trip.

 Sun and moon in wood from Baguio and a cross from an antique shop

The small mirror is new, from SM also. 

see that little guy peeking, trying to get in the shot

Defiant Man

He's only two years old, barely two and a half years old but he thinks like a big man now. He never forgets to speak his mind (his voice is more resounding now in the house than his Ate). Most of all, I noticed how defiant he is when he simply doesn't agree with something. Example:

Me: Hey Sam, look at the helicopter?
Sam: No Mommy, it's an airplane
Me: Baby, that's helicopter
Sam : Nooo mommy, airplane! Hhhhrrrr...
Me: gives up. it's airplane for now. (mantra: choose your battle and choose it well)

Sam in one of his rare quiet moments. Do. Not. Be. Deceived.

When things get worse and we have to put him in time out, he usually doesn't cry like his Ate did in this stage. He holds his tears or pretends the timeout doesn't affect/bother him. See?

Defiance is part of being in the terrible two stage. I had several experiences with my first child (she had outgrown defiance but still very opinionated until now, by the way). It's just really frustrating at times and if you don't know any better, you will just want to haul them!
To effectively deal with kids two years of age, it's very very important to understand them and know where they're coming from. For my first child, she just won't leave my side even if I'm in the kitchen chopping, frying, steaming, etc. There was no way I could get her out of the kitchen so instead of us fighting over it, I gave her simple tasks to do like beat the egg, mix the batter, etc. Thus, she learned to cook at an early age. Now, at age 4, she knows how to cut onions and tomatoes the safe way and can make her own pancake mix (yaya or mommy does the cooking still :) ).

Research also helps a lot especially for first time parents. This site has handy tips for parents:

http://www.babycenter.com/0_defiance-why-it-happens-and-what-to-do-about-it_63678.bc

Be understanding.
Set limits.
Reinforce good behavior.
Use time-outs — positively.
Empower your 2-year-old. 
Choose your battles. 
Respect her age and stage.