Lately, I feel so out of my elements. I easily get affected by work and personal innuendos and what nots. I'm so emotional right now and has the tendency to get hurt over matters that I wouldn't give a crap if I'm lucid.
Yeah, so I guess I'm not normal right now. Last week, some part of me have come to accept the fact that I'm going through depression. Or could it be mid-life crisis? Waaah, what's this?! All I know is that I am so out of my wits. Tried to talk it out with hubby several time because they say it helps that people with problems talk it out with their family or friends. But at some point, it doesn't seem to help much. Sometimes, I just cry out of desperation :(
Of course, I try to fight it but after a while, just when I think it's over, it bounces back in and gives me that, 'hello, i'm still here. back to haunt you!'
What could this be? What's causing it? Is this really beyond me now? What do I need to do to address this?
Haay, the worst of it all is that I have to act normal like everything is perfectly fine when it's really not! I have kids who depend on me, household staff to manage, office staff that I need to mentor and supervise and a family to take care of. How can looney me get through the day?
I don't know, I just do by some Divine intervention I believe.
That's the only thing that helps me right now, prayers. Wherever I am, when I feel down, I talk to God and tell Him to help me through this. Give me the strength to get pass all these hurdles and let tomorrow be better than today.
One day at a time, that's how I'm taking it.