Monday, May 23, 2011

Life Sabbatical: Thoughts and Ponders

On yesterday's paper, I read an article from Cathy Babao-Guballa that talked about Life Sabbatical. Among all other news and features on the paper, this is the one that I just really read to end mainly because I have been contemplating on taking a break. In the article it was cited that people who go through this phase feel like they need to do something that they have not done at all or to go back into doing something they haven't done in a long time because of daily life's demands. Life sabbatical is a breather from the chaos of daily life.
I'm certainly too young to qualify as middled-aged, unless my life span is only until 70, but I feel that I need some kind of a break. Every time I have a medical condition and go to the doctor for check up, I always get that 'wear and tear' reason of sorts. All the time. It's like my body is older than my age. I think I must have overworked my body and my mind.
I go to a non-9 to 5 work five times a week, I run a household especially on weekends, I raise two toddlers who are a handful, I am a wife, I am a cook, I am a runner, I am a daughter, a sister and a friend. I guess I am so many things all at the same time. I guess I have been so hard on myself for so long that that the need to take a life breather came early on me.
The thought of leaving work and becoming a full time mom has been lingering in my thought for weeks now. However, I know that there are so many important factors that I need to consider before this life changing decision even get my final vote. Financial is top of the list. Second would have to be, 'what do I do then'? I love my work. I love to dress up in the morning, pick up my fave bag and go to work. The need to be busy is essential in me. I get depressed when I do nothing.
I know that there are so many things that I can do aside from working - I love to cook, I want to sew again, I love to do arts and crafts, I am fascinated with travel but none of these equates to earning as much as I am earning now. Thus, what about the bills and the comfortable life we wanted for our kids? To think that my first child is just about to start school. The contradictions in life is really astounding.
However, writing this now makes me realize that maybe I'm not just ready yet for that life change. That maybe I am just going through a phase that is still uncertain even for me. Maybe I need a short break but not really a life sabbatical.
Lately, I have been doing a lot of arts and crafts at home, somehow trying to reconnect with painting, sewing and creating all sorts of knick knacks. I have also been cooking like crazy, again. Cooking like crazy is actually my cue that I am depressed or stressed and whipping or chopping something in the kitchen is my outlet. I am also contemplating on going back to dancing. Lastly, I know that I need to reconnect with God. I have been looking for a church near our place where I could offer my services. I feel that I need to give back something to the Maker for all His blessings and I feel like, as what I have experienced in the past, He holds the key to my peace of mind.

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